The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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