At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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