i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
