I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I lost the right to judge tonight
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
