Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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