You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
