Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize