Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
