Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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