I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The air taste purple.
Randomize
