fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Randomize
