this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
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