I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
