I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
