he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
