im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
