Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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