Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
