this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I think your dad took our porno
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
