But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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