Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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