um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
