It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
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