I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
