I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
its liver damage thursday
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
