I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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