My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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