I looked at my own cervix.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
