After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
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Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
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Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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