I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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