Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
