Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
This is classic penis vs brain.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
