Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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