I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Randomize
