I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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