absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
