Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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