At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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