Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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