If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize