And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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