Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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