hell yes lets make some ravioli
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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