she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
