Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
So much rum. So many feels.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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