how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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