Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
