so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
These tits shall not be calmed
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
