Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
