I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
