Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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