Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
