Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
