PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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