sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
