I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
