You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
