And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize