i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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