Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
She needs sedatives and a leash
50% drunk capacity currently
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
