Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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