Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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